she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
