My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
