Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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