Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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