Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize