We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
