16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
