I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
