Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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