Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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