look no pants
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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