the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
