He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
