yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No...this little piggys going to the bar
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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