What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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