Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
