I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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