I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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