With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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