Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Let's paint friendship bongs
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
