I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Everyone says I win the strip club
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
