Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
