Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize