But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
