just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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