He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
