i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
