Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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