If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Randomize
