that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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