Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
