Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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