yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
