I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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