i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is Oprah even human
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
