A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize