TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
