dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
