The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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