I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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