she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
