remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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