I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
