I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
