if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
