Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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