I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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