I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
