So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
