At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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