My sheets look like a crime scene.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
