I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
