We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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