He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He better not be in your backpack
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize