If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
