do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
