Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
