can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
