I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
