So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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