I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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