i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
