Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
