What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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