dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
